Sunday, 1 July 2018

June Favourites

https://www.facebook.com/beatingeds/photos/a.236630833166152.1073741828.192272800935289/990261531136408/?type=3&theater
  • As It Is: The Stigma [Boys Don't Cry] (Official Music Video) FUCKING YES!!! Their new album coming out in August "The Great Depression" looks like it's going to be bloody fantastic and I'm so looking forward to it. This is what changes lives and the world and I'm screaming and squealing with so much excitement #Pullingapartsociety'slies #Thenewworldsapproaching ๐Ÿ‘Š✌๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ–ค๐Ÿ–ค๐Ÿ–ค
  • Brene Brown Breaks Down Common Types of Armor Hmmmmmhhhmmm dang Brene bringing those raw truths to the surface once again! YES homegirl!๐ŸŒฑ๐ŸŒน๐Ÿ›๐Ÿฆ‹⛈๐ŸŒˆ
  • How Intersectional Feminism Transformed Me From An Asshole To An Activist "I wonder how many abusive people are abusive because they have denied themselves their true selves". ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ Now that is a powerful question we need to ask!. Combine that with the feelings of shame that would be held within that too. To also recognise and admit our mistakes, flaws and faults as well as to work on ourselves can be incredibly hard. To do that you have to be ready to, you have to go deep soul searching which can be scary, you have to NOT be driven by your ego and you have to be so raw, honest and vulnerable. It's hard and ugly shit, it's ongoing, it's up and down and windy as hell but that's where the magic hides.
  • Values & Self Love I think the topic of self love while being in a relationship needs to be talked about a lot more. To be able to find and maintain a balance of not having our identity, worth and "whole world" attached to and wrapped up in being in a relationship and also to not be distant in a relationship either. I really do think learning about who we really are/understanding ourselves and having self care is so vital for each and everyone of us...single, in a relationship and through out all aspects of life. I would say a lot of us in some way or another have felt that a relationship or person in that form defines who we are and/or our worth or thinking it will fix all our problems, heal us or think that's how life is "meant to fall into place" or base our whole happiness on a person... that's not fair on another person and is also when we'll choose people who aren't good for us as well as how we break our own hearts and self destruct like a ticking time bomb. Self love is a home๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿก๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•
  • 100 Ways You Can Start Loving Yourself Right Now Just thought I'd put this here after the above post ๐Ÿ˜‰. Might be an oldie but it's full of gold! For you and I ๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’Ÿ๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿฆ„
  • Man 2 Man "Breaking the silence on violence. Man 2 Man, whanau by whanau". ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’– 
  • The Bikini Contest Is Over, but We Are Living Inside the Beauty Pageant When we value looks over everything else and put it at the top of the chain in society there is an issue and there is a long running history with this with women though it does for sure happen with men too. When we gain our sense of success, personal power and worth from looks this is an issue. Which when such belief systems have been internalized it can take a hell of a lot to unlearn. I'm all for "looking good" and owning our personal beauty and I do think for a lot of us this can play a part in our self love journey and getting to know ourselves and feel good. It has definitely for me like changing hairstyles, experimenting with colours and fashion, the act and creativity of getting dressed up and putting on make up and learning about my body in the gym. Though "looks" should not stand at the top nor alone over everything else in the world ESPECIALLY when we still idolise and value set beauty standards like in western society big boobs, white, flat stomach, tan, tall and slim or petite, "no flaws" or muscular for men etc./ or the popular cultural shifts in "beauty" like now big lips, big butts, ripped etc. It all needs to be thrown where it belongs in the trash. If you are those things cool, if not that's cool too... certain "looks" should not be placed higher above another and in general "looks" shouldn't determine our ranking in society, success or be connected to our worth. I believe in diversity, I believe in flaws (we all have them so the more we try to hide them the more of a lie we are selling and the power/ego trip that comes along with all of this of superiority and inferiority because you are now or are not the things society values lols ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿคฎ, which I can see when you are what society values there can for sure be a safety and protection mechanism to that as well as a position of privilege) and I believe there is far more to us than just looks. We do a significant disservice when we reduce ourselves and others to just looks. We are a whole person first and foremost with so much to be discovered, grown, acknowledged, appreciated, used and celebrated and also simply because we are human and a soul. To some degree we all want to be accepted, respected, valued, understood and have meaning and connection and how are we meant to have that when it becomes about "fitting the standards, being fake and looks"?. It is time we challenge what we value as people and a society and why we have put such things in a place of importance and also over another?... #Letsdigrightintothatdeepshit
  • How Do You Measure Your Self-Worth? "measure your self-worth by who you are at your core. Behave according to your values and create a life of meaning and purpose." I actually really like the idea of what Dr Russ Harris talks about in his "The Happiness Trap" book of not measuring self worth and esteem at all as it becomes a game of Chess where your white pieces are proving to you all the reasons why you are a good person and worthy and the black the reasons why not. He instead suggests to become the Chess board itself and to just discover and live by your values, in which he advises that forgiveness should always be one since none of us are perfect. I also do like the concept I talked about here of that we are worthy simply because we exist. You know how I mentioned further above how once such belief systems have been internalized it can take a hell of a lot to unlearn?... well yeah...it's always an ongoing journey, with highs and lows, falling off the waggon, back on once again and around the loopy de loop I'm sure many of us will find ourselves but there are tools out there. ๐Ÿ›๐Ÿฆ‹⛈๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ€๐ŸŒฑ๐ŸŒฑ๐ŸŒฑ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒป
  • After Ever After 3- DISNEY PARODY ๐Ÿ’™❤I LOVE HIM and I'm glad he did another one of these! So clever and talented.๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’š
  • Demi Lovato's New Song Is for Anyone Who's Had a Recovery Setback ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ‘Œ Recovery is a journey not a destination and it sure is hell not a straight easy line. Slip ups, relapses, struggles and set backs are a part of the journey for many and yes they can happen YEARS into recovery. That doesn't mean "full recovery" doesn't exist or isn't possible it means that it's an ongoing journey of checking in with yourself and doing what you need to do to be well. It's not a perfect and it's unique to the person and shouldn't be compared to others. Recovery doesn't always look and feel like a "success"... it can be fucking ugly, hard and incredibly painful. I've mentioned in some previous posts a bit of my struggles over the last few years and that the life struggles I've had have been triggering to my ED. I honestly have a hard time being open with the whole slip ups, relapse and struggles part of recovery I think that if I slip up or I'm struggling "I'm a bad person", "I'm a recovery traitor", "I can't help and inspire others if I'm messing up", "I'm not good enough", "I don't deserve love" and feeling like I'm less of a person and that I'm not a "recovery success story" because of it or if I do. I try to tell myself that it happens, it's okay to not be okay, it's a learning curve and it's part of the journey. Challenging those beliefs and moving through those feelings to get back to seeing it from a place of self love and compassion- which isn't always easy. There have been many days in the past and recent ones too where I just don't want recovery anymore and that a part of my brain doesn't care, that I'm tired of constantly fighting and that sometimes I feel like I don't have any fight in me any more. It can take every single ounce of energy at points to stay in recovery. There are days I come back from the gym and go back to sleep for 3 hours or so, so I don't have to deal with the intense tug a war in my brain of making the decision to eat or not and the consequences of either of those as well as my depression and at times suicidal thoughts. Usually after waking up again my brain is calm enough to make the decision to eat though my eating disorder will be planning out ways to relapse in the background constantly. I also remind myself of how hard I've worked and all the things keeping me in recovery though at times the darkness starts eating on and eroding all of that. It can become difficult and there's only so much you can take before you snap. As Demi mentioned in her song "I wanna be a role model, but I'm only human". They can be silent battles of hell yet they exist, they matter and they need to be talked about. So many of us face them in different ways. Sending lots of love and big hugs Demi's way ⛈๐ŸŒˆ๐ŸŒฑ๐ŸŒป๐Ÿ›๐Ÿฆ‹
  • What You Don't Know About Jazzmyne Jazzmyne opening about her battle with bulimia, this representation of women of colour struggling with Eating Disorders is very much needed. Thank you Jazzmyne ๐Ÿ’•๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ’•๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ’•๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ’•
  • Living With Social Anxiety LOVE Mayim Bialik's rawness, another fav from her below ❤❤❤
  • Attacked For "Being A Goth" "I'm still getting attacked based on my appearance, it's an assault based on discrimination". Sending lots of love and hugs to Carys and I praise her courage for speaking up and out about this ☠๐Ÿ–ค☠★๐Ÿ–ค☠๐Ÿ–ค☠
  • My Sexuality So proud of Jamie's World for sharing this with us, sending lots of light and love your way Jamie and no doubt your story will be of great help and comfort to others too! ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–
  • Being Trans Is (Finally) No Longer Classified as a Mental Disorder by the WHO (The World Health Organization) LOOOOOOOVVVVVVEEEE! ๐ŸŒˆ❤๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œ๐ŸŒˆ
  • Panic! At The Disco: Hey Look Ma, I Made It Oooo damn ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ’ Brendon Urie got the groove GOING ON! ๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽœ๐ŸŽHis personality is so fucking beautifully badass and infectious!. Love the meaning in the video too!
  • Sleeping With Sirens: Iris (Goo Goo Dolls Cover) Wooooo that voice and emotion! ๐Ÿ–ค๐Ÿ–ค๐Ÿ–ค
  • Mike Shinoda: Ghosts ๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ‘ป
  • Dog Doing Yoga With Owner ๐Ÿถ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿง˜ If you need something to brighten your day...๐ŸŒž๐Ÿ’•๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ’•๐ŸŒž
  • Barney & Friends: Season 2 (1993) Playlist THE NOSTALGIA! ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’› I use to have a 6 hour video tape recorded from the TV that I watched over and over of this. Season 2 is the JAM, with Grandparents are Grand, Red, Blue and Circles Too! (I swear this one explains a lot ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ˜‚) and Hoo's In The Forest I remember being some of my favs. #Mightbe25but...Barney4ever
  • Gaslighting: The 'perfect' romance that became a nightmare This can happen in all types of relationships too and also not just a "man to a woman".
With hope and love
Rainbow ๐ŸŒˆ๐ŸŒ ๐Ÿ’–

Monday, 25 June 2018

More Doesn't Always Mean Better


It can be important to reflect and review in different aspects of life the concept of "quality over quantity" as it can be so easy to get caught up in believing that more means better. This can go for work/life balance, money wise (this article notes that once our basic needs are met, it doesn't actually make us any more happier), possessions, friendships, social media in terms of who you let into your world/what you see, creating content, followers etc. As well as gym/fitness life, I talked about here how more exercise doesn't necessarily mean better and my struggle with that. Cutting lots of food down/out and dropping weight fast most definitely doesn't equal better you can fry your metabolism, lose muscle mass, bone density, negatively impact your health, lead to binging etc. and actually derail what you want to achieve in the first place and most likely the long term sustainability of that. Lifting heavier weight in the gym doesn't always mean better either... proper technique, breathing, mind/muscle connection, time under tension training and listening to the body are all highly important too (I'm currently on more of a learning journey with this one, which I have my ups and downs with ha ๐Ÿ˜‰).  

Do you need to have a bit of a reflect and review in different parts of your life in regards to "quality over quantity"?.

With hope and love 
Rainbow ๐ŸŒˆ๐ŸŒ ๐Ÿ’–

Tuesday, 12 June 2018

May Favourites

https://www.facebook.com/butchartgardens/photos/a.382533076294.165534.155980211294/10155607208411295/?type=3&theater
  • What My Newborn Son Taught Me About Masculinity "I still want to show him what healthy masculinity looks like-that muscles aren't power and that vulnerability isn't weakness, but the source of true strength." Justin Baldoni does it again! MUST READ! ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–
  • A broken idea of sex is flourishing. Blame capitalism "Feminism and capitalism are at odds, if under the one women are people and under the other they are property. Despite half a century of feminism reform and revolution, sex is still often understood through the models capitalism provides. Sex is a transaction; men's status is enhanced by racking up transactions, as though they were poker chips." 
  • We need to address the socioeconomic causes of mental health issues if we really want to tackle the problem "We need to spread the message that the society and communities we live in and the way they are organised by social, political and economic forces play a significant role in our well being. We need that message to become part of the conversation around mental health so that the ideas are built into the heart of our society's policies, not viewed as only relevant to NHS mental health services."
  • Can Black Lives Matter & Law Enforcement See Eye To Eye? I think the topic around "all lives matter" was a really good one. I'm becoming more aware how some of the language we use completely denies, dismisses or doesn't even acknowledge and maintains the systematic oppression and inequality in our world. While "all lives matter" seems like a simple statement it's far more complex than that.
  • Disney's Cinderella 2015 Official Trailer So I watched this live action make recently and the aesthetics of the film are what I see in my dreams and my soul craves... the gardens, nature and glorious fashion. Though of all ๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’™#Havecourage&bekind๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ’™
  • Kids Getting Wild Hair Colours This makes me so happy that kids are expressing themselves and embracing the creativity of hair colour and cuts. ๐ŸŒˆ❤๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œ๐ŸŒˆ I could see in the comments a lot of people are concerned about the bleaching, I think as long as you go to a very knowledgeable and safe practicing hairdresser who can be open about and educate the parents of any risks, discuss an array of options like hair chalk, non scalp bleaching, if hair is light enough just the colours and sign any necessary forms then that is the parents and hairdressers choice. 
  • Professionals with Tattoos "Self expression should never prevent you from getting a job". YEP, YEP & AH YEP! Breaking down that stigma and stereotyping which is so highly damaging across the board! One thing I do take huge issue with, within this area is that it shouldn't take popularity to make something accepted which I can see happens... nothing is changing if that is the case. It's about accepting, respecting and learning about diversity, who people are, healthy self expression, being real and again breaking down that stigma and stereotyping. If someone had swastika tattoos/symbols of such shaved into their hair then yes I can agree that is not ok. Though there is nothing wrong with healthy self expression, being real and who you are. Let's also acknowledge that some companies and products are also based predominantly on playing on insecurities surrounding this ''false, mask, set imagine" and maintaining the "status quo" and can feel threatened when such is challenged. I feel "wearing masks"/ "trying to be normal" and valuing a certain look over another is shallow and contributes to a lot of issues and struggles in this world and in broader overall sense.
  • Leo Rojas: Colors Of The Rainbow (Pan flute music) ๐ŸŒฑ๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒป๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ€๐ŸŒˆ I just yearn to be surrounded by nature, gardens, animals, fashion and to write and write and write until my heart can no longer... in a peaceful trance away from the mainstream world for a very long while...the music and imagery in this video knows. #Iwantasimplelife
  • Mike Shinoda: Running From My Shadow ft. grandson Okay Mr Mike Shinoda okay...YAS turn that pain into art and beautiful power ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜˜Fuck this is GOOD, my fav from Mike so far ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ
  • Against The Current: Strangers Again In love with this song and video through and through! △❤๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œ๐ŸŒˆ๐ŸŒ 
  • Against The Current ft. Tyler Carter: Cold Water Live Cover Tyler's voice every time...OM NOM NOM NOM ๐Ÿ’Ž๐ŸŽ€
  • As It Is: The Wounded World YAS! My alternative self is screaming right now! 
  • OneRepublic: No Vacancy ft. Amir ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ˜‰ Just a little bit sexy... okay like a lot.
  • 12 Things the INFJ Personality Type Hates Oh yes! Pretty sure I still haven't mastered the art of small talk and I for sure despise it-not about that life ๐Ÿ˜‚though I'm here for that deep life shit! #Skipthesmalltalk ๐Ÿ‘ 
  • 6 Illustrations That Show What It's Like In An Introvert's Head
  • Why It's Not Racist When People of Colour Point Out White Supremacy in White People's Actions "Reverse racism doesn't exist because racism cannot go in reverse".  
  • Rape Culture Is Real: Spare Me Your Tears For Toxic Masculinity
  • 6 Ways We Accidentally Teach Our Boys Rape Culture
  • My Eating Disorder Is About Safety, Not Control ๐Ÿ‘Œ A lot of people's eating disorders play a part in being driven by control-feeling like food and weight is the only thing they can control when life feels out of control yet the illness controls them. For me this has never felt like a part of mine and how I tumbled into it, at the deeper cores mine has been driven by self hatred and low self esteem feeling unworthy and not good enough which turned into not good enough or worthy for food and to live. Such feelings and beliefs about myself I had for years before I developed mine, it was normal-so much so "self punishment" didn't seem like the right fit to describe it at the height of it, it was just what I deserved. In recent years I've figured out that the need for safety and protection from the outside world also drives my eating disorder urges, I'm not sure if that played a part in the development of it (that for me has felt more about self hatred than anything else but maybe it did drive it in a way I didn't realise at the time) but I know it plays a part in the creation of the urges I've had in the past and still get and my want to go back to my ED. Eating disorders are complex, multi-layered and not just as simple as "wanting to be skinny", "just eat", "just get over it", "oh you're a healthy weight, now your fine", "you don't look like you have an ED" or "you just need to have some willpower and self control".
  • Why Do So Many Men Have Eating Disorders?
  • 40 Things People With Eating Disorders Wish Others Understood ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•
  • Fat-shaming children at school is no way to fight obesity ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ Yeah that's pretty much a recipe for an eating disorder like it notes in the article. "Obesity is incredibly complex, and often the result of inequality, lack of education and emotional distress. Chastising someone for being overweight - a child already vulnerable to playground bullying based on appearance-is not going to inspire them to adopt a healthier lifestyle. It's more likely push them to pick up another packet of chips, or begin to deny themselves food". I feel we should know by now the "pick someone apart", "toughen up", "get over it" remarks and attitudes are often more damaging then anything else and can push people into a further unhealthy and dangerous place on all levels... mentally, physically, spiritually and socially. It can also show that you don't understand and further exacerbate the power imbalance. "they should be teaching children and teenagers to feel happy, strong and informed enough to live as healthy a life as possible". Let's look at the whole of a person, let's look at society and let's look at how we treat each other.
  • Male Ally Benedict Cumberbatch Is Only Taking Jobs With Equal Pay For Women ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ I feel like a lot of people forget that this is about equal pay for equal work.
  • These Stock Photos Show Masculinity Is More Than Biceps And Beer
  • Photography Celebrating The Spectrum Of Black Masculinity
  • Selfie Psychology: Would You Risk Your Life For A Photo?
  • Teddy Geiger Makes First Public Since Coming Out As Transgender So proud of you Teddy! ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜ 
  • Online harassment of women driven by misogyny, fear and a need for power
  • Study: Performing artists who suffered in childhood tend to have more intense creative experiences
  • Senior Citizens Fighting Loneliness LOVE this, such a really really cool idea.
With hope and love
Rainbow ๐ŸŒˆ๐ŸŒ ๐Ÿ’–

Thursday, 24 May 2018

Voices That Change The World


While you alone cannot "save the world" just like you cannot "save people" you can however be kind, respectful, helpful, brave, loving, open and take the time to listen and learn as well as look after yourself and set boundaries. You can reflect and change aspects about yourself when you know better and also use your knowledge, stories and voice to add to the many others who are doing the same to create hope and positive change. While it takes individual action, it also takes us collectively to create the so necessary change. It can seem like your voice, attitude and actions may not mean anything in a world of so many but it does... the little things add up to big things and it is needed in that collection for it to grow and to be the voices that change the world.

With hope and love
Rainbow ๐ŸŒˆ๐ŸŒ ๐Ÿ’–

Sunday, 13 May 2018

April Favourites

https://www.facebook.com/endingeatingdisorders/photos/a.1029276677092850.1073741828.1023785820975269/1927014797319029/?type=3&theatre
With hope and love
Rainbow ๐ŸŒˆ๐ŸŒ ๐Ÿ’–

Saturday, 28 April 2018

Sunset Falls, Stars Are Born, The Sun Will Rise Once More


๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›As she lays her hand on his as the summer night sunset falls on a grassy hill adorned with flowers galore of all sorts which hold her secrets like seemingly nobody else except for him could and they know her bare soul completely raw and so entirely flawed like the diary she locks away hidden deep at the back of her draw. The heart shape tiles shimmer down the way in warm delicious delight and the gentle breeze blows in an elegantly flow making sure its presence is known nor one to be forgotten while they both relish the airy silence that signifies how they feel in a way that words never could or would possibly ever fill. They slowly intertwine as they watch the colours blazing bright in the sky lit night collapse into black remembering just how they can come back in which she of all people often forgets that when consumed by the fear of what disappears and can no longer be seen or foreseen. Though she knows now for sure that darkness comes and it goes even in those moments she still thinks it won't and he has always quietly and wisely reminded her that stars are born in that exact environment and that the sun too will come to rise however all within good time. She's not sure if he's aware... maybe he is... that his very being was one of the reasons she had the ability to keep on going for he never saved her but simply fought on beside reminding her that she must live and all the reasons why, along with that wisdom of his that he never let up just how he knew but she could see right through. He understood her in a manner that she had never been understood before and that was erotic in the most wondrous of fashions. As they stargaze and play spot the shapes they are both deeply aware of the battle that has been overcome yet well aware there is still another to be won for they have been awoken to find so much of the world still blissfully and ignorantly asleep... and that is a mission they take very personally to the core of their beings to change. As they lock eyes with one another in a brief moment and smile as if to say game on...GAME ON.๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’œ

With hope and love
Rainbow ๐ŸŒˆ๐ŸŒ ๐Ÿ’–

Friday, 13 April 2018

March Favourites

https://www.facebook.com/ProjectHEAL/photos/a.197207903633981.46145.168349076519864/1742503322437757/?type=3&theater

With hope and love
Rainbow ๐ŸŒˆ๐ŸŒ ๐Ÿ’–