Tuesday, 28 January 2014

The Issue With Conformity!

For those of you who know me and for those of you who don't you can properly tell that I LOVE to be different but it hasn't always been this way, in fact I use to HATE that I was different...

When I got diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome when I was 9 my life changed I was no longer like my peers... I couldn't go to school full time, do exercise, got put on steroids and gained a lot of weight and got tired easily along with many other things which all lead to me being left out in my peer group.
I also ended up getting into punk/emo/rock music and the style as it was something I related to which most other people in my peer group weren't into and is classified as different in general. I was weird because of this, also along with my illness and I wasn't into socialising, sports, going to parties, making out etc. I wanted to be a Forensic Pathologist, listened to punk/emo music, get my work done, wore black clothes and spikes, read Bones books and I thought boys had cooties until I was nearly 17.

I hated myself because I didn't "fit in" I wanted to be pretty, liked, popular and just be "normal" but at the same time I knew I was different and I also wanted to stand out at something... like we all do. You know those kids at school that seem to have their talent on lock down like being super intelligent or really good at music or art etc and were liked and "normal"... yeah I wanted to be one of those kids. I actually ended up finding one of my talents in the year before I left school which was fashion, a talent that I wasn't able to truly express until I left because of conformity but once I left school I have been able to express it to the fullest through my crazy outfits, colouring my hair, piercings and tattoos and not give a damn because it makes me happy.

Ultimately I judged the people who were openly different and didn't fit in at school because I didn't want to be associated with not fitting in, made fun of or bullied. These people during high school who were openly different inspire me hugely today because they stuck up for who they were even though they had to put up with the shit people gave them in the most brutal time to be openly different. I believe just like negativity is your naturally state of mind I also believe judgement is too because of the way society has taught you what you should and shouldn't be which leads you to judge instantly about someone or something. It isn't until you take the time to be open minded and truly understand about someone or something that you see it for what YOU believe.

Society and conformity teaches us along with many other things that girls shouldn't have muscles, be strong and independent, it makes boys unmanly if they do hairdressing, they shouldn't cry and they need to score lots of chicks to be "a man", loving the same sex is wrong and shameful, being poor means your nothing, being rich means your everything, being geeky means your a nobody and being popular means your hot sh!t but when you truly strip it back it doesn't matter if you're a woman who has muscles, a man doing hairdressing, loving the same sex or being popular and sociable or being geeky and having a few friends and it's truly nobodies business except yours. In the words of Ke$ha " We R Who We R". Whether your Black, White, Maori, Asian, Hispanic, straight, gay, bisexual, transsexual, rich, poor, popular or geeky etc being who you are in healthy, respectful, loving and strong way is the most beautiful and powerful thing you'll ever be and not to mention happiest.

No one is perfect and this idea of having to "fit" societies "perfect" and to conform to who you should and shouldn't be, not only doesn't exist it's also dangerous leading to depression, suicide, mental illness and just self destruction and hatred in general. We all have things that make us different and we all have traits that fit into societies "normal" but deep down  I believe you are a freak of uniqueness and don't ever be afraid to express that physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I understand it can be hard to unleash this side of you because of judgement and rejection, I often struggle with this with my personality as I am scared of rejection and I have always been able to express myself the best creatively and physically but I continue to work on letting my personality out and I dare you to unleash your uniqueness too! 

Conformity and the "Normal" breeds a certain level of hate and judgement not only within ourselves but also with others in which it destroys the human race of beauty, being real and accepting the uniqueness, strengths and weaknesses of each individual. At the same time without the struggle you go through to accept yourself and fight to be who you are, you wouldn't grow and have the love, compassion and acceptance you now and continue to have or will come to have for yourself and others. You can either let it make you bitter or better and of course I hope you let it make you better which is indeed very hard in a world that tries to constantly to pull you down.

I will always stand up and be rebellious to push the boundaries to be different and be who I am because of the way conformity destroys us from being and loving who we are. I encourage you to do the same and embrace all of who you are because that is where happiness, health, love and success comes from and by the way YOU deserve all of these things!

Check out some of my other posts:

With love

Rainbow :) xoxo

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