Tuesday, 7 January 2014

Legally Changing My Name-The Story

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My birth name is Jenna. There is nothing wrong with this name but I personally never felt like it was my name nor did I ever really like it, at no disrespect to my parents. I actually remember I wanted to be called Sabrina, Rachael, Britney or Kirsty growing up but instead I would name my teddy bears these names. As time went on and life brought storms my birth name became a trademark and reminder of very dark places and self hatred.

When I was thinking about recovery I dreamt about moving away and changing my name... a way to let go of all the bad crap and start fresh and I knew If I chose recovery I wanted to do it in style. At the very start of my recovery I remember watching Portia De Rossi talk about her Anorexia on Oprah, she had changed her name though before she became ill or famous. I started thinking what if I could change my name?, what would I want to change it to?. Then two months into my recovery I heard about Gala Darling's story, her struggle with Anorexia and that she once had a dream with the name Gala Lumiere Darling appearing in the clouds. When she woke up she wrote it down and a few months later changed her name to it which I thought was outrageously wicked!.

My mind started swirling with tons of ideas, I didn't want to change my name to an ordinary normal name, to me that was just odd. If I was going to change it, it was going to represent me. Ideas started flowing from my favourite movies Ferngully, Titanic, The Duchess Of Devonshire and TV shows such as Care Bears and Strawberry Shortcake. Crysta, Rose, Georgina, Cheer bear and Berrykins (and no I didn't really know about Rainbow Dash from My Little Pony until several years later lol, though I had seen human artwork of her online but didn't know her name) all seemed to flow through my mind constantly but nothing really seemed to flow or fit besides something that had a very special meaning to me.

Rainbows!. I had been having my hair dyed bright colours for about a year by my talented hairdresser at the time. She would call me her Rainbow Brite Girl. I would also see a busker in the street every now and then who would call me Rainbow Girl and sing about my hair and clothes when I saw him. Rainbow also had another very special meaning and connection to me... through the rain the sun shines to create all the beautiful colours.Through my Anorexia (my rain) I found my style (the sun) which was something that made me feel beautiful for the first time in my life and something that just felt right... like it's a part of my soul. Both of them combined created my growth and the person I am today (All the beautiful colours of the rainbow). Not to mention I was obsessed with anything rainbow coloured. So it was for sure Rainbow was going to be part of my name but Rainbow on it's own just seemed too normal to me 😂.

During 2010 on my rampage of searching all things rainbow I discovered Rainbow Roses, they were just so beautiful and stunning and I fell in love with them. I also really liked that roses symbolised love (after hating myself for so long) and combined with the fact that one of the lead characters in Titanic is Rose who I adore, I decided Rainbow-Rose was going to be my first name. I was constantly thinking of what my last name could be.... waterfall, butterfly, lily but nothing fit and just rolled like it should. Then one day I was reading something and blossom stood out I automatically looked up the definition... Blossom: To come into flower, To develop; flourish, (The freedictionary.com). Rainbow-Rose Blossom.... I LOVED it! It perfectly fit and the full meaning of my new name came together. Rainbow-Rose Blossom means growing into different colours of love which represents through everything you go through you eventually grow and become more of who you are and a better person which was exactly what I wanted to be, stand for and share.

When I first told my parents that I was going to change my name they were quiet upset but I knew it was an essential part of my recovery. They still call me by my birth name and don’t condone my changing of name but they do understand why I did it (Though as recent as 2018, the majority of the time they now call me Rainbow). I only waited 2 months to change my name because I knew that it was MY name and it felt so right, in fact I sent the form off 2 weeks after I turned 18 and within 2 weeks my name was changed, I was now officially Rainbow-Rose Blossom. 

Ultimately I knew I was moving cities within a couple of months of changing my name and was going to introduce myself as such, which was exciting and I was also nervous about it too. My name makes me so happy when I think of it, say it and hear it, it's me and everything I want to stand for and provides me with some hope in the times when I need it.

With hope and love
Rainbow ❤🧡💛💚💙💜🌈

4 comments:

  1. WOW Rainbow, I don't really know you but I feel so proud of you. Without anorexia you may have never created this blog, it just goes to show that you need rain to make a rainbow and this rainbow is one of the brightest I have seen! I recently posted the Versatile Bloggers Award, I only did 10 nominees as well, I'm looking forward to reading all those posts! Have a lovely day Rainbow-Rose!

    Love Catherine
    smileycentral106.blogspot.co.nz

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    1. Awww that made my heart all warm and fuzzy and means so much to me Catherine! Thank you! <3 Wooho I'm going to go read it now! :D Hehe thank you, hope you're having a lovely day too Catherine! :)

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  2. Interesting story! I'm glad you were able to do this because it clearly meant so much to you. I've had some struggles with an ED in the past too. I have yet to be super public about it, though it's certainly not a secret either. Hope you're doing well with all of that! XO
    -Lauren Blair
    www.prefertobedemure.com

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    1. Naww hugs and love! I still have my ups and downs but don't we all! We are all Superwomen! <3 xoxo

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