Wednesday, 12 March 2014

How To Forgive Yourself!

Holding on to past mistakes? Still blaming yourself over something you had no control over? Here is your guide on how to forgive yourself!

Forgiving yourself is such an important thing to do to let go of any hate, hurt, blame, mistakes and to learn, grow and move forward. By holding on to past mistakes and blame you strengthen your negative belief system and inner critic so the next time something happens your inner critic comes in and all you can hear is "I'm not good enough" "I'm worthless" "I'll never get anything right" "I'm just so stupid".

By forgiving yourself you learn to understand that you do make mistakes and that's ok and you also learn that making mistakes is knowledge and you know that you can approach a situation differently if something similar comes up again, over time you blame your self less for things that are out of your control and you grow a little more from each situation.

I personally blamed myself for getting sick with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome when I was a child and that my Mum had to give up her job to look after me. I felt like it was my fault for getting sick and if I hadn't gotten sick my parents wouldn't of had to give up what they did to look after me.

After writing a letter to myself as a child when I was in recovery I realised for the first time that there was nothing I could of done to stop myself from getting sick. This was a huge revelation and helped to heal a part of my pain but I still felt this hurt that my parents sacrificed a lot for me and that I would never be able to repay them.

One day I bought it up with my counsellor and she said "Ask yourself what are the good things that came out of it? We will always look at the bad in the situation but not the good" "For starters you wouldn't have the strong, loving and supportive bond with your parents that you do now". This was another huge revelation for me and one that I never truly thought of like that before but was also very true. She also told me we forget the beauty and simplicity of saying I love you and that it is one of the greatest gifts we can give to others. She also bought up that eventually my turn to help my parents will come around and that giving my knowledge and helping others is also a way to pay them back for the way they have helped me.

By now you'll properly thinking who is this wise and angel of a woman?!?! and yes she is truly that! I have taken what she said on board and every time I see, speak or text my parents I tell them "Love you! :) xoxo" for the amazing and blessed relationship we share and when the time comes when they need help I will do my very best to do so. I also like to pass my knowledge on through this blog and when people speak to me when their in a dark place or need help. All of this helped to me to forgive myself for a very big and long time of blaming myself and many beautiful flowers have come to flourish from it.

My Top 5 Tips On How To Forgive Yourself!

  1.  I deeply and completely love, forgive and accept myself: Tell yourself, say it out loud, write it down... even if you don't believe it, say it... you need to hear it!
  2. What have you learnt? Write down or think about what have you learnt from your mistake or the situation. What would you do differently if a similar situation came up again?
  3. The good things: What good things have come out of it? Could be you know what NOT to do next time or what you should do next time, a stronger bond with someone, something you need to change in your life? etc.
  4. Apologies: If other people are involved make the appropriate apologies to the people you need to. Do it in person.
  5. I deeply and completely love, forgive and accept myself: Tell yourself again, say it out loud again, write it out again because you need to hear again!

Forgiving yourself is important to learn, grow and move forwards it will help you to heal and bring flourish to beautiful flowers!

Check out some of my other posts:
With love
Rainbow :) xoxo

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