Tuesday, 2 June 2015

Finding Healing In The Positives!

One day I was sitting in a counselling session and I bought up with my counsellor how I felt guilty for how much my parents have helped me through my years of sickness, for how much they sacrificed and and that I would never be able to repay them. A very strong twang of pain and guilt always sat with me which contributed to a part of my self hatred that was still strongly with me and had been grown over many years. My counsellor told me we often look at all the bad things that come from a situation but rarely the positives. She told me to write a list of all the positive things that have come from all the years that I had been sick such as I wouldn't have the close relationship with my parents that I do now. I went home and wrote that list which included:
  • I wouldn't have the relationship with my parents that I do now.
  • I value my health.
  • I value exercise.
  • I have a strong respect, compassion and empathy for those struggling with sickness, disability or mental illnesses.
  • I value being different and being able to express that in a positive way.
  • I value, support and can relate to those who are different.
  • Value the need to support others.
  • I value support.
  • Being able to relate to others in tough times and people struggling.
After that counselling session and writing that list it was like an epiphany, I realised how much beauty, wisdom and knowledge I GAINED after I lost and missed out on a lot of things over the years but what I gained was now becoming clearly far greater. My counsellor also told me that the act of something so small yet so meaningful of saying "I love you" is truly appreciated and that one day it will come full circle and it will be my turn to help my parents, I now always say or write "I love you" when I speak to my parents. She also told me that by passing on my knowledge, inspiration, wisdom and support to others I will be repaying my parents back by helping others.

I can't write how beautiful that epiphany and counselling session was, that twang of pain and guilt that sat with me for so many years became far less. As I focused on the positives I felt a strong sense of gratitude and a tremendous sense of healing took place from that counselling session and exercise. Thank you Ann, time and time again your advice, wisdom and knowledge has saved me.

If you're holding on to pain, guilt or self hatred from the past or a situation write a list of all the positives that have come from it, it's time to start the healing beautiful gem. 

With love
Rainbow :) xoxo


  1. Enjoyed reading it!! I'm glad that you feel much stronger and more positive after all. Awesome!!

  2. Really good post ! It's so important to focus on the positives :)

    love Marianne xxx


  3. That's actually true, we always focus on the negatives rather than the positives. I think it's good to write lists like this regularly because you kind of train yourself to be more positive!

    The Velvet Black // UK Style & Beauty Blog

  4. Hello,

    Great post ! :D

    Sarah, http://sarahmodeee.blogspot.fr/

  5. This is absolutely so true! I remember hearing a seminar once where they said instead of saying "What if...) in a negative way, say it in a positive way. For example, instead of "what if everyone hates me?" start saying "what if I meet someone I connect with?" It can seriously change your entire outlook on life. I loved this post, you are such a beautiful person! XO -Kim

    1. I love that idea so much, I definitely agree that it changes your outlook in life in such a beautiful way. I wish that more people knew these pieces of advice and exercises because they are seriously amazing! Naww thank you so much Kim so are you! :) xoxo

  6. This is such a lovely, honest post and it's so right! We so automatically jump to the negatives and discard all of the positives! There is usually something good with the bad, like you say xxx

    Sam // Samantha Betteridge

  7. This is such a lovely post Rainbow :) It's amazing how much good there is that comes from situations when we feel completely helpless and alone. We learn to become stronger and love ourselves more as well as appreciate people who have always been there for you. It's moments like these where we forget to take a moment and just breathe. I agree with your counselor in that by simply showing appreciation to your parents and sharing your knowledge you are thanking them for all they have done for you. You and your parents are both so brave :) and I am happy to hear how far you have come <3


    1. Naww thank you so much Crystal! I hope more people get to know these kinds of exercises and knowledge because it's amazing stuff to know when life has been rough and to know there are little things like this that can help heal. Thank you so much again! <3

  8. Wow! What an inspiring and uplifting post woman! I really admire how far you have come. It sounds like you have amazing parents:)


    1. Awww thank you so much Joanna! I sure do! :)