Wednesday, 30 September 2015

The Answer To Why We Never Feel Good Enough!

The answer to why we never feel good enough...The Happiness Trap by Dr Russ Harris explains how back in the cavemen days there were certain things we needed for survival and that we feared being not good enough and rejected from our tribe because if we were, we were more likely to get killed. As we and society have evolved so has that thought/feeling of not being good enough... I mean when you think about all of that for a second it actually makes a lot of sense!

So now we know why... it's a part of us from evolution for survival but what do we do with that not good enough thought/feeling?!?!. This book talks about learning to accept our thoughts/feelings... while positive affirmations may work well in the short term usually those exact unwanted thoughts/feelings come back, by learning to truly accept them for what they are... just words/stories our thinking self tells us, learning not to take them so seriously and allowing to make room for them it helps us to not be affected by them so much which can also help them to go away.

This book provides many techniques and tasks such as saying "Thank you mind for telling me the story of...", taking a few moments to use our observing self to see how thoughts come, go and how there is a constant stream of them and also asking ourselves if this thought/feeling is helpful? rather than putting them in the "bad or good basket" if it's helpful than use it if not use the techniques. The techniques should never be used to make thoughts/feelings go away but instead for making room for them to sit with us or for a lack of a better term being comfortable with being uncomfortable and acceptance, if they also happen to go away that is an added bonus.

Now I know you're all want to go Rihanna on Dr Russ Harris's ass right now and be like WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!?! but that is not all, a book that also compares self esteem to a game of chess... all your bad thoughts/feelings are the black pieces and the white your good in which there is always an on going battle of justifying why you are or aren't a good person. Instead of playing the game of self esteem Dr Russ Harris talks about being the chess board and not the pieces by living instead by our values and being compassionate with ourselves unless of course the other way is helpful at anytime, by now I know you all have your high pitched Jason Derulo voices on singing WILL YOU MARRY MEEEEEEEE? to Dr Russ Harris who is clearly one smart man!

Highly recommend this book, BOOM epiphanies everywhere and great techniques to have in your self love tool box! *Also comes in a pocket sized version with cartoons and speech bubbles for those non readers out there! ;)

With love
Rainbow :) xoxo

Wednesday, 23 September 2015

Keep It Real And Stay True To You!

People are going to tell you who you should be, what you should be doing with your life, that you're not doing it right, that you should change yourself. You'll get put down, rejected, laughed at, misunderstood and told to stop being so unrealistic. Kick it to the curb baby, you don't need that kind of negativity!

The truth is you're probably going to be rejected and hear no a million times before you hear a yes, but that doesn't mean you should change yourself just to fit in. In reality that yes will mean the world to you because of how hard you've had to fight for it and that you've stayed true to who you are. You will most likely fail many times before you hit success but that doesn't mean you should give up or stop believing in what you're doing and well some people just won't get it and that's fine, it's not their life it's yours so keep pushing forward!

Never stop being the rare, real and authentic you and going after what you want, it really is the most beautiful and powerful thing you can ever be and do. Keep it real and stay true to you!

With love
Rainbow :) xoxo

Wednesday, 16 September 2015

YOU Matter!

Sometimes we feel like we don't matter, like we are less than, not deserving of, that our pain "isn't as bad" as someone else's therefore we don't feel like we deserve help, that we feel so unworthy that we don't believe in ourselves and the more we believe that story the more it will chew us up.

We are all humans, we are all beings all equally as important as each other! You are just as much as part of the universe as the birds, trees, animals and flowers and play just as much as an important role... no one is you and the world needs you for everything that you are and have to offer. Every single one of us matters and YOU yes YOU the one reading this is no exception to that rule! You matter, your happiness matters, you pain matters, everything about YOU matters!
With love
Rainbow :) xoxo