Wednesday, 30 September 2015

The Answer To Why We Never Feel Good Enough!

The answer to why we never feel good enough...The Happiness Trap by Dr Russ Harris explains how back in the cavemen days there were certain things we needed for survival and that we feared being not good enough and rejected from our tribe because if we were, we were more likely to get killed. As we and society have evolved so has that thought/feeling of not being good enough... I mean when you think about all of that for a second it actually makes a lot of sense!

So now we know why... it's a part of us from evolution for survival but what do we do with that not good enough thought/feeling?!?!. This book talks about learning to accept our thoughts/feelings... while positive affirmations may work well in the short term usually those exact unwanted thoughts/feelings come back, by learning to truly accept them for what they are... just words/stories our thinking self tells us, learning not to take them so seriously and allowing to make room for them it helps us to not be affected by them so much which can also help them to go away.

This book provides many techniques and tasks such as saying "Thank you mind for telling me the story of...", taking a few moments to use our observing self to see how thoughts come, go and how there is a constant stream of them and also asking ourselves if this thought/feeling is helpful? rather than putting them in the "bad or good basket" if it's helpful than use it if not use the techniques. The techniques should never be used to make thoughts/feelings go away but instead for making room for them to sit with us or for a lack of a better term being comfortable with being uncomfortable and acceptance, if they also happen to go away that is an added bonus.

Now I know you're all want to go Rihanna on Dr Russ Harris's ass right now and be like WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!?! but that is not all, a book that also compares self esteem to a game of chess... all your bad thoughts/feelings are the black pieces and the white your good in which there is always an on going battle of justifying why you are or aren't a good person. Instead of playing the game of self esteem Dr Russ Harris talks about being the chess board and not the pieces by living instead by our values and being compassionate with ourselves unless of course the other way is helpful at anytime, by now I know you all have your high pitched Jason Derulo voices on singing WILL YOU MARRY MEEEEEEEE? to Dr Russ Harris who is clearly one smart man!

Highly recommend this book, BOOM epiphanies everywhere and great techniques to have in your self love tool box! *Also comes in a pocket sized version with cartoons and speech bubbles for those non readers out there! ;)

With love
Rainbow :) xoxo