Wednesday, 30 September 2015

The Answer To Why We Never Feel Good Enough!

 


The answer to why we never feel good enough...The Happiness Trap by Dr Russ Harris explains how back in the cavemen days there were certain things we needed for survival and that we feared being not good enough and rejected from our tribe because if we were, we were more likely to get killed. As we and society have evolved so has that thought/feeling of not being good enough... I mean when you think about all of that for a second it actually makes a lot of sense!

So now we know why... it's a part of us from evolution for survival but what do we do with that not good enough thought/feeling?!?!. This book talks about learning to accept our thoughts/feelings... while positive affirmations may work well in the short term usually those exact unwanted thoughts/feelings come back, by learning to truly accept them for what they are... just words/stories our thinking self tells us, learning not to take them so seriously and allowing to make room for them it helps us to not be affected by them so much which can also help them to go away.

This book provides many techniques and tasks such as saying "Thank you mind for telling me the story of...", taking a few moments to use our observing self to see how thoughts come, go and how there is a constant stream of them and also asking ourselves if this thought/feeling is helpful? rather than putting them in the "bad or good basket" if it's helpful than use it if not use the techniques. The techniques should never be used to make thoughts/feelings go away but instead for making room for them to sit with us or for a lack of a better term being comfortable with being uncomfortable and acceptance, if they also happen to go away that is an added bonus.

Now I know you're all want to go Rihanna on Dr Russ Harris's ass right now and be like WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!?! but that is not all, a book that also compares self esteem to a game of chess... all your bad thoughts/feelings are the black pieces and the white your good in which there is always an on going battle of justifying why you are or aren't a good person. Instead of playing the game of self esteem Dr Russ Harris talks about being the chess board and not the pieces by living instead by our values and being compassionate with ourselves unless of course the other way is helpful at anytime, by now I know you all have your high pitched Jason Derulo voices on singing WILL YOU MARRY MEEEEEEEE? to Dr Russ Harris who is clearly one smart man!

Highly recommend this book, BOOM epiphanies everywhere and great techniques to have in your self love tool box! *Also comes in a pocket sized version with cartoons and speech bubbles for those non readers out there! ;)

With love
Rainbow :) xoxo

46 comments:

  1. oh wow I am interested in reading this now. o.o

    xoxo,
    Winn | ♥
    winscribbles.blogspot.com | Instagram

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    1. It truly is such a good read! Have a beautiful day Winn! <3

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  2. Loved this post, you always brighten up my evenings! Xx



    Pandora Dupe- CHEAP!

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  3. *jumps into car and speeds over to the library* I literally just flipped my pen at the computer screen rushing to right down the name (even though it wasn't going to disappear but you got me hooked on it already and I haven't even read it yet haha). This sounds like such a great book! I've been looking for something like this to read. I haven't really had time to read lately but I definitely want to get back into it and I think this is going to be the first one I read :D Thanks for sharing! Hope you have a lovely day Rainbow :) <3

    http://crystallizeddaisies.blogspot.com

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    1. Hahaha seriously such a good read, I was reading it going like seriously holy crap where has this book been my whole life and why don't they teach this at school?!?! Yay!!! Thank you Crystal and I hope you have a lovely day too! <3

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  4. first of all, i'm loving the humor and enthusiasm in this post haha. like, i can totally see how excited you actually are about this book. it's amazing when someone's words have so much impact. i like how dr. harris provides a means for people to address these negative feelings instead of just saying their inevitable or whatever. i'll have to keep these tips in mind

    http://hellokuo.blogspot.com/

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    1. Hahaha why thank you! He really just nailed it and honestly the whole time I was like wait what?!?! this makes so much sense! Have a gorgeous day Kuo! <3

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  5. Seems like as very interesting read, thanks for the recommendation!

    ISA Professional

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  6. I've not been reading as much as I used to lately and this seems like such a good book to get back into it! Very interesting x

    http://heart-autumn.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. It indeed is! Have a beautiful day Emma! <3

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  7. Wow, what an interesting book Rainbow! I feel like I need this book right now, life is just making me feel like utter crap lately. Just uggghhhh. I'll have to see if there's an online version! <3

    xx Bash | Hey Bash | bloglovin'

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    1. *BIG HUGS BASH* It truly is such an amazing book, it has this way about it that just makes you realise there are answers for things and that you can get through what you're going through! Sending massive, love, hugs and positive vibes your way Bash! <3

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  8. Wow, this book looks awesome, Rainbow!! I think I need to check it out at some point :) Thank you for posting! Hope you have a wonderful day!!

    ~Lor @ cozycomfyhome.com

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    1. You're welcome Lor! Thank you, you have a wonderful day too! <3

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  9. I'm so into reading stuff like this. I need to pick myself up a copy some time soon! Thank you for sharing sweetie, I really do think this book will help me a lot!
    I tagged you in The Disney Tag by the way- you don't have to do it as, it is quite long, but the invitation's there if you wish to take it x
    http://goodmorningbelle.blogspot.co.uk/2015/09/the-disney-tag.html

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    1. Seriously it's just wow I was like seriously where has this book been hiding my whole life ahahaha. Ooo thank you, I'll check it out soon! Have a magical day Vicky! <3

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  10. First of all, you make me laugh so freaking hard! I love you! Second, I'm gonna need this book. Seriously, I LOVE reading books like this, I feel like it definitely helps to grow as a person when you can evaluate yourself, your mind, your thoughts and feelings, etc. Great review and thank you for all the inspo, I adore ya! XO -Kim

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    1. Naww why thank you, I love you too! <3 This book seriously needs to be more known like holy crap it's so good! Thank YOU and I adore you too Kim! You are seriously such an angel! <3

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  11. You made me wanna to read this book. Thanks for sharing it with us.
    Have a nice day!
    lilianndehn.blogspot.com

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    1. You're welcome! Thank you, hope you have a nice day too! <3

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    1. Thank you! Have a beautiful day Eleanor! <3

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  13. This sounds so interesting and insightful ! This sort of stuff is all about perspective, understanding and knowing the techniques to change your thought processes for the better ! This sounds like an excellent read ! I'm going to stop at the library on the way back from college tommorrow an se if they have it in !

    Lots of love, Marianne xxx

    http://myhappybubblexx.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. It really is quiet fascinating isn't it?!?! Have a gorgeous day Marianne! <3

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  14. It sounds like an interesting book to check out-anything that makes you rethink about how you think about things! I love reading things like that! Love how you reviewed it though- "go Rihanna on him" LOL :)
    Olivia | Her Name Was Celebration

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    1. Most definitely! Hahaha why thank you! Have a gorgeous day Olivia! <3

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  15. So cool!

    Chiara

    http://www.culturewithcoco.com

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  16. First of all I love your hair and the make up! And now I wanna read this book... :)

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    1. Thank you so very much! It's soooo good! Have a magical day! <3

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  17. Awesome post! Love your style!

    http://carinazz.blogspot.com.ee/

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    1. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Have a lovely day! <3

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  18. This book sounds brilliant, Dr Russ Harris is right that we should always accept our feelings/thoughts, no matter if they're possitive or negative. One more thing, I think that many people takes everything too seriously and personal (so do I), so it'll be great option to learn how to avoid it, this skill could improve life ;) Thank you for sharing it, dear Rainbow :)

    http://crafty-zone.blogspot.com/

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    1. Haha it will indeed! Thank you so very much Ivonne, you are truly amazing! Have a gorgeous day! <3

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  19. That's really interesting. I had no idea self-esteem issues went all the way back to our beginnings. I also thought of them being such simple beings, strictly thriving off survival but it does makes sense that they'd also "feel" things. I'll definitely have to check this one out. The past few years I've had trouble with my own thoughts and their dominating need to being top dog.

    Sxx
    www.daringcoco.com

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    1. Naaw hugs, I think we all struggle in some way in this line of things, so you're not the only one and this book is truly wonderful just like you! Have a beautiful day Sonia! <3

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  20. You are such a fun and wonderful person!
    Morgan | theradwife.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you very much! Have a gorgeous day Morgan! <3

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  21. This book sounds like a good read Rainbow. Thank you for sharing this with us.

    astylishlovestory.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank YOU Joanna, you beautiful woman! <3

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  22. definitely going into my next book hunt list!
    sounds really interesting! and up lifting. ngawww thanks rainbow! (:

    everything magical
    www.wanyyg.blogspot.com

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    1. You're welcome, a bloody good read! Have a gorgeous day! <3

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  23. I've actually read this book (recommended by my biology teacher for perception/brain anatomy) and it was really interesting! Definitely recommend xx

    Pop over to my blog!

    Sarah
    https://everydayconcepts.wordpress.com

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    1. Oh yeah sharing the awesomeness! Totally agree! <3

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