Sunday, 22 July 2018

Self Compassion


Self compassion can be a struggle for many of us, me very much included. It can be easy to blame, hate on, beat up and destroy ourselves in a heartbeat which of such can and does fuel negative mental health and mental illness. It has done with my depression, suicidal thoughts, self harming and eating disorder urges. It can also drive us to achieve things but that doesn't always mean its ultimately good... it can be unhealthy and self destructive, ego driven and lead us to be even more in a downward spiral and disconnected from our true selves and purpose- which we don't necessarily see at the time and at points have to go through to figure it out.

We have been taught that vulnerability is weakness and I feel that self compassion gets often viewed like this too.... as we've been taught to "harden up" and "suck it up". I have jokingly said those lines myself not realising at the time how it can hurt someone and the true impact it can have especially within males, the cultural message they've been sent for so long that is so damaging. Along with things like "keep ploughing through". To be open and hold compassion for ourselves however is something else entirely especially when our culture constantly tells us our worth is connected to something and most often than not the externals and things like we must "keep up with the Joneses" or the unspoken pressure of it... it's all lies. 

I want you to know that self compassion is vital for mental well being. To be met with empathy and kindness when we express pain and struggle to others is such a relief, comfort and source of support especially when it is tied into feelings of shame which as Brene Brown notes "shame is lethal". To have that same kindness for ourselves can help us to make decisions out of a place of love, who we really are and what we want and help us to cope with and move through pain and life in healthier ways instead of being tangled up in the powerful self hate bashing thoughts, feelings and beliefs and them taking the drivers seat, as well as helping us to heal. 

Many of us place kindness high up in our values but forget to include ourselves or we can end up being so hypercritical of ourselves that we end up being so hypercritical of others... is that really helpful at the end of the day or is it hurting ourselves and others more?. When was the last time you said something kind to yourself?. I encourage you to find or create the tiny seed of self compassion, hold it close and make it grow, oh and just remember it's a process... how nature always knows. 🌱💦🌹⛈🌈🍀

With hope and love
Rainbow 🌈🌷🌠🌻💖

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