Saturday, 25 August 2018

The Secrets You Keep

The secrets you keep can feel like they keep you safe inside from the world out there. They teach you to survive yet in the same breathe pull and push you to die in a tug a war of devils dressed as angels and angels as devils, with skipping ropes and sarcastic jokes, for your secrets are unspeakable they yell you mustn't tell or you'll reap the torturous repercussions of it and them but here deep within they light a fire to keep and embrace you in warmth holding hands, singing chants, making friends, playing games and whispering seductively in your ear until goose bumps appear and you're intoxicated with their love. Helping you to be high, to numb, to escape, to self blame, to inflict and punish what you believe you deserve- the hate that you love and the love you've come to hate. What irony to be surrounded by such warmth while suffocating in such coldness. 

The secrets you keep, keep you sick and suffering in shame and silence. They keep you running away from the feelings, memories and trauma you're trying to avoid feeling, confronting and healing and often don't even know how to begin to or a too painful to even want to. They keep you in self destructiveness and self hate. It wasn't your fault such things happened to you, you were young and didn't understand it or why it happened in the first place? and no one taught you how to deal or maybe it all just got too much. The secrets you keep have helped you to survive at one point or another when you didn't have the ability or tools to do so in other ways but the secrets you have held onto for so long and the secrets you still keep need to be told. To the right people of course- those who can provide support, help and be trusted so you can grow and be set free from the devil angel merry go round and their skipping ropes and cruel jokes. It's a process that takes lots of time, little by little as letting go of what has taught you to survive isn't a simple or all or nothing process however it can and does get better.

Knowing that the secrets you keep, keep you sick aka "safe" can keep you that way though that safe is often a false sense of safe yet feels and seems like very real safety and perhaps sometimes it is and has been... though there is also very real safety in knowing that the secrets you keep, keep you sick and to break free you must speak them to those who can help and be trusted.

With hope and love
Rainbow ❤πŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œ

Wednesday, 1 August 2018

July Favourites
  • Diversity or Inclusion-Do You Know Which One To Strive For? Ooooooooo *does an extremely excited dance* how I bloody love this, YES!!! πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Š✌. "Diversity is often used in self-serving ways, especially when an organization is trying to prove it's progressive when it actually isn't". "True diversity includes more than just race". "Inclusion means changing the culture of an organization". FUCKING YES!. I also think this is a great article to reflect individually on our own ways of being too... are we REALLY being inclusive??? and how can we be more inclusive? πŸ€”.
  • Episode 4: #Metoo πŸ˜πŸ‘ŠπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ I've said it before and I'll say it again...I'm seriously in complete utter love and awe with this series of men sitting down and having vulnerable, compassionate and progressive talks about the world. If you haven't heard or seen the rest of the episodes, I HIGHLY recommend watching them! Episode 1: Why Don't Men TalkEpisode 2: Lets Get VulnerableEpisode 3: The Ugliness of Body Image 
  • Muscle Dysmorphia-The Male Eating Disorder-Scott Griffiths "Be mad and criticize standards that teach boys and girls that the most important sense or source of their self worth is their physical appearance. Let's celebrate bodies for their function and not just their form. Let's dismantle the stigma that men and boys don't care about their appearance because that is patently false and while we're at it let's get rid of the stigma that people with eating disorders are vain or narcissistic or somehow have only themselves to blame for their predicament. Criticize traditional notions of masculinity that discourage men from speaking openly about their appearance and don't just do that offer young boys substantial and genuine alternatives to masculinity that they can work with and that resonate with them." ❤❤❤
  • How Do You See Women, That's What He Said Ding ding ding we have another winner of a series of men sitting down together and being raw, compassionate and opening up about the so necessary conversations. πŸ˜πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘. Completely agree with the topic of #checkyourboys you as boys and men have the ability to say no that's not okay and we don't tolerate that shitty behaviour in general and disrespect towards women. Yes it takes guts to do that, yes you may be the first one in your group to say it and yes it can be difficult... and as Justin Baldoni notes here men have been conditioned their whole lives to have an allegiance to men which needs to change to what is right and how to be better allies to women. Some more favs with the men: Self Esteem and Body ImageViolence & AggressionWhat is Masculinity?Fathers and SonsSex and Dating
  • Brene Brown: 3 Things You Can Do To Stop A Shame Spiral "It (shame) can not survive being spoken and being met with empathy."🌷🌹🌼🌻🌺
  • If You've Never Lived In Poverty, Stop Telling Poor People What To Do ❕❕❕ "The assumption that "simple advice" can dramatically change a person's economic outlook assumes that a person's poverty is solely the result of personal failings, rather than very real and costly systems of oppression, including legacy poverty, systemic racism, mass incarceration, punitive immigration policies, medical debt, and more." 
  • Why It's Important to Have a Culturally Sensitive Therapist Cultural safety is EVERYTHING! πŸ‘Œ
  • I Was Almost A School Shooter Thank you Aaron, your bravery is much needed and inspiring. You are loved πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–
  • How I Redefine 'Happiness Is a Choice' as Someone With Depression About 4 years ago I wrote a blog post on "happiness is a choice" not truly understanding depression nor understanding my own depression. Which would've showed in that post, which I deleted a while back. This article talks about it the way it needs to be talked about and is top notch..."When we say just "choose happy," we make it sound like we have a simple choice. We can chose to be happy or we can chose to be sad, we can chose to allow our mental illness to consume us. Like it's a choice, like it's what we want. It's almost offensive. Instead of choosing happy, I've decided to chose to make choices that are good for me. Good for me physically, good for me mentally. I don't say this lightly, it is tough. It is difficult sometimes."
  • 'Feminists' Who Exclude Trans Women Aren't Feminists At All If your feminism isn't intersectional it isn't feminism period. It can be so easy to fall into "white", "straight", "able bodied" and "cisgender" feminism, like a lot of us first learning about such a topic naivety and ignorance can play its part but it's vital that we broaden our scope and take the time to listen, learn and advocate across the board.
  • Brendon Urie Comes Out As Pansexual #Loveislove ❤πŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œ
  • No, My Binge Eating Disorder Is Not A Lack Of Willpower "If you feel concern for somebody who is skipping meals, but disgust for someone who eats more than you think they should-check yourself."
  • Mariner Abruptly Retires To Help People With Eating Disorders "Mariners catcher Mike Marjama informed the team Friday that he is retiring from baseball to take a position with the National Eating Disorder Association." Shot Mike, you and your story will make a huge difference! πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘
  • Our Children's Busyness Is Not A Badge Of Honour (And Why We Need To Change It) I also personally think as adults it's not a badge of honour either which society has made it out to be and also to a degree created it to be that way where there are many reasons where it becomes difficult to "not be busy" e.g. having to work long hours just to be able to afford to live or having the actual job designed that way with no care for workers and their well being. It can also become another thing to prove 'self worth' and avoid other feelings and issues. We all need down/hobby time in varying ways. πŸŽ¨πŸ–ŒπŸ“šπŸŽ§πŸŽ€πŸŽ₯🌱🌻🌷🌹🐾🐾☀🌊
  • The Losses and Gains of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome This hits very close to home even though I no longer suffer with CFS. It is such an important topic to be shared and talked about. I lost a "normal childhood/tween & teen years" and "I lost myself" but through further darkness "I found myself", "I found wisdom, courage, compassion, empathy, strength, motivation, an open and good relationship with my parents and appreciation for the simplest of things (hence my child like side and my old soul🌈)". Honestly there a still times I get hit with sudden sadness for what was lost and never was but I also get great joy through connecting and hearing others life stories and learning about life in that aspect as well as having the ability to help others too. I feel that my journey put me "behind" in ways but way "forward" in others. πŸ•ŠπŸ€πŸ•ŠπŸ€πŸ•Š
  • The Surprising Dark Side Of The INFJ Personality Type "Honestly, if we have our minds set on something, it may take several attempts to change it. It may seem like we are being inflexible, but honestly, we just need time to be okay with the new plan or idea. As long as something doesn't go against our deeply held morals, we'll probably eventually come around to it."...seems about correct πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
  • As It Is: Hey Rachel This band gives me 2004ish nostalgia without being from that time frame. The familiarity and newness is such a special feeling... my heart is so warm, high and my soul on fire and the belonging and connection is so fucking real. ☠πŸ–€★☠πŸ–€★☠πŸ–€★ Some more faves: As It Is: Pretty Little DistanceAs It Is: Okay.
  • Our Last Night: Back To You Cover (Feat Fans) Damn they really do make some great alternative covers! 😍
With hope and love
Rainbow πŸŒˆπŸŒ πŸ’–