Sunday, 30 September 2018

From The Therapy Sofa

Recently I went back and had a check in with my therapist and yes if you've been thinking about having a check in or feel like you need to here's a reminder 😉 even if it's a support worker, peer support, life coach etc. whatever works for you... do it... stop putting it off like I know you are... (gosh how my younger hate therapy self finds all of this far too hilarious... not sure whether to laugh or cry 😂). During my session a topic of conversation came up that flowed into my therapist talking about the "winners and drama triangle". Now I can't explain her fantastic analogy in the direct and precise way she did with me however in the scenario she presented it to me with was there was two parents and a young kid and an argument around not having made lunch for school erupts between them... she noted the dialogue that often happens with them all when such arguments take place...ultimately it was to show how we all in some way or another move around all aspects of the "drama triangle" which is an ineffective way of communicating and being however we can recognise this and transition into the "winners triangle" in which we all move through different points of this too. She also related this to me in the way of the self harm cycle... critical/blaming → powerless/hopeless/stuck →pain reliever...and also for such cycles as emotional eating (she works with people with various types of eating disorders, disordered eating & food issues). She also related this to me in being able to recognise when others are on certain points on the triangles as for example being able to recognise when someone is being the "prosecutor" and to not take on that person's issues. This is not to say about someone "I'm better than you" or putting them down but to instead to be able to identify when certain responses to situations is actually about them and their issues and to be able to not take on their baggage and/or to self blame and prosecute ourselves. As well as being able to explore what are reasonable responses in such situations and responding in ways that aligns with the "winners triangle" whether or not the other person(s) are on the same triangle as us at that point in time.  

With hope and love
Rainbow 🌈🌠💖