Saturday, 4 July 2020

In Blue I Stay With You

In blue under the moon here with you
Together but apart
Oh how the stars shine and whisper to me 
All about where and how you are
Sending my love as images flash and crash
Ultimately painfully bashin'
Patiently waiting for you as you with me 
For the return so grand 
Entire galaxies will dance around us in shape shifting form
Spitting sporadic bolts of colour
Flying past in notorious fashion
Together but apart
In blue under the moon
Here I am staying with you.
#StayingBlue...for now.

With hope and sparkles
Rainbow 🌈🌠💖

2020 Semester 1

Well I don't think a lot us saw 2020 happening just like it has. The world and people are screaming out to all of us to not be ignorant...we must listen and be active in our quest to not be so and engage with empathy as well as to take and support action within ourselves, with each other and within society and its systems.

With my studies semester 1 has come to an end and I have arrived at a much needed study break with self care including op-shopping, hair makeover, reading (The Hunger Games Prequel) and a much needed trip to the gardens to connect with nature-and yes entering this newly designed garden felt just like going into Wonderland or a secret garden and it's so magical and joyous. I'm so grateful to live in a city that has a place so incredible.  

Over the last few months I've felt gratitude about many things in which for some of these my previous struggles has given me that appreciation and the tools and awareness about myself to cope and for that I am thankful. Additionally I grew in a way I too feel grateful for and was supported with. While it may not seem like a big thing to another it is for me and my brain- that I now feel comfortable working out from home-(if I need and want to) and not feel like I need to be so reliant and fixated on the gym and seeing it as the superior option as well as the black and white/rigid thinking I have around other options which then has created anxiety. I actually really enjoyed my home workouts and doing something a bit different-this aligns with a flexible, balanced and smarter not harder mindset that I'm working on. 

Semester 2 coming right up!.

With hope and sparkles
Rainbow 🌈🌻🌠

Saturday, 4 January 2020

Here We Go 2020...


This year I'm going part time study and picking up another day of work, this mix allows me to keep my job that I adore while being able to study. Like last year it's a trial to see what works and trying to find a balance that allows me to juggle both and be well. Well a balance act is what I'm going for I can see this year is also going to be very full and have a constantly on the go pace too. 

It's interesting to me as I've scrolled through the online world this New Year that instead of 'new year, new you' I've seen more posts focused on not needing a new you but being just you and becoming more youer which I'm hella here for. 

You can't dictate what the years going to hold but you can aim and action with purpose and hope not fully knowing what the outcome will end up actually being. Kind of a weird mix of navigating, steering and also riding and tumbling through expected and unexpected waves some minuscule and some tidal. 

I read some posts a little while ago around how western culture is so obsessed with happiness, like it's the end goal. Once you're there, you're there and you've made it like it stays forever. The reality is that's not human or life, we feel and experience a wide range of emotions and times in our lives.

2020 you will be what you will be and I wish that you'll have lots of magic, authenticity, connection and joy living in you. 

With hope and sparkles
Rainbow 🌈🌷🌞

P.S: The cutie on the left is the best cuddle buddy ever, he's curled up in my laptop case on my bed snoozing as I type. As cute as he is, his insistence and vocalness for me to play with him at odd hours of the morning is not so cute ha!. No need to worry though I bug him constantly while he sleeps 😂😜. 

Saturday, 21 December 2019

2019 Reflection

Wow 2019... looking back on this year it has been full and intense at times and has felt like it has had a constant pace of being on the go and things to do. 

I've manged full time study in my first year of a counselling degree and my part time job that I love. I'm proud that I've manged to do both together for the first time in my life and kept my wellbeing in check for the most part. Both job and study individually let alone together have been something in the past I've had tremendous anxiety over (and at times still do!) and have lacked confidence in myself to do, to the extent of being paralysing and torturous. So I feel proud of my growth and accomplishment in this and I'm grateful for them both being in my life this year. 

I would be lying if I said I didn't have any triggers ping off-yes I still deal with them and yes there was one assignment I had 3 breakdowns over and huffly puffly sat in my room one weekend in a hoodie crying doing it and struggled with eating for a few times...I passed 😂. I'm realising the importance of learning how to deal with these times still and not beat myself over it. Slip ups happen, they can be ruff and well sometimes harm reduction is where it's at when it comes to dealing with my mental illnesses/health. Honestly I wish harm reduction would be spoken about and approached more when it comes to dealing with mental illness/health and not just in the addiction world. 

Highlights in regards to my studies include learning more about colonisation, Te Tiriti/The Treaty, learning and delivering my Pepeha off by heart as well as a Karakia and Waiata up in front of my fellow social work and counselling classmates, discourses, worldviews, narrative therapy, postmodernism-"there is no single truth", the sociology paper-very full on, also at times very depressing but fascinating especially learning about 3 major theories to see society through different lenses of Functionalism, Conflict Theory and Symbolic Interactionism and applying and comparing social issues to these. Social psychology- learning about conformity and authority, cultural psychology and finally my cultural identity paper was a much loved joy with exploration through such things of gender, gender identity, sex, sexuality, kiwi and ethnic identity and body image.

As this year wraps up I've entered a much needed self care mode and I hope you do too.

With hope and love
Rainbow 🌈🌠💖

Last Half 2019 Monthly Favourites Galore
With hope and love
Rainbow 🌈🌠💖

Wednesday, 2 October 2019

In Midnight Blue, I Met You

🌙💙💘⭐For you met me under the moon and I know I'll see you again... someday soon. How could I forget what is now marked on my heart and etched into my skin?. Alive you kept me and alive I made you. My oh my, my sweet little pea how I've promised the stars that in due course I'll be home to meet you where you met me, under the moon in the depths of midnight blue, where our two souls will collide once more and we'll live and die a million times than ever before. I guess that's just us huh babe?, old souls in a world that burns but we know exactly how to soar and rebirth.🌙💙💘⭐

With hope and love
Rainbow 🌈🌠💖

Sunday, 29 September 2019

2019 NZ Mental Health Awareness Week Day 7

Need to talk/Where to get help (New Zealand):
  • Free text or call anytime (for a trained counsellor): 1737.
  • Samaritans: 0800 726 666.
  • Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757. Free text: 4202.
  • Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865.
  • Safe to talk (National sexual harm helpline): 0800 044 334. Free text: 4334.
  • Alcohol/Drug Helpline: 0800 787 797. Free text: 8681.
  • Gambling Helpline: 0800 654 655. Free text: 8006.
  • The Low Down: (free text): 5646.
  • Lifeline: 0800 543 354.
With hope and love
Rainbow 🌈🌠💖